Summary of I Was My Own Route by Julia de Burgos | Poem | Class XII English Note

I Was My Own Route by Julia de Burgos

Summary

Julia de Burgos, in her poem 'I was my Own Route', depicts how the women are burdened with the patriarchal ideologies from the past. Therefore, she urges the women to detach themselves from the past so as to locate their identity within.

This poem is about the intimate and deep liberation of women. It proposes the search for new trails that allow the women to define the exact path to follow: the choice of your own route. It is based on the feminist ideas, rebelling against the social injustices of the time.

The poet recounts her experience as a dominated woman in her society. Her main interest is to define who she is and what she wants as a woman. In a macho and unequal society, women rightly want to have the same opportunities, rights and benefits as men.

The poet shows that a woman never has to feel inferior due to external ideas of an ideology or a man, because a society should not decide her destiny or anything about her life. She emphasizes the importance of not practicing a game of hide and seek with her being. On the contrary, she must continue forward, despite the obstacles along the way.

It is a reflective poem, with a rebellious character, since she shows that she does not want to follow anything established by the society of her time. Only she, not the society, is able to decide who she is and what she should do. 

Stanza-Wise Explanation of the Poem

1st Stanza

The speaker is presented as a woman who does not accept to be as men want her to be. She introduces us to the issue of women's liberation, to the search for her freedom in the place where she is. With her feet on the ground, she did not follow any plotted direction; on the contrary, she went on her own way. She left the game of hiding from her being, to reach the new paths.

2nd Stanza

The speaker recounts how she overcame, at every step, the desperate flapping of old trunks, referring to the norms imposed on the women. She explains with a poignant image that her back was ripped with those old logs, which represent the obstacles that she was willing to overcome, no matter how painful they were.

3rd Stanza

The speaker says that she freed herself from the trunks of the trees that trapped her, and moved away from everything she was taught, and from the castrating horizon. She began to feel intimate liberation with the kiss of the new paths. It is a new balance in her life, and her truth.

4th Stanza

Now, the speaker is aware of who she is, what she represents, and where she wants to go. She feels herself as flowers from the ground. Once she had a history starting from soils with no future, and soils without borders, which was imposed by men. She tore that ground to embed her own roots, overcoming obstacles and defining her present course to be herself.

5th Stanza

With the line " And I was all in me as life was in me ...", the speaker shows the empowerment that came from her decision to march towards her own destiny. It was the moment to feel and meet her true self. Now, she lives with total freedom.

6th Stanza

The speaker explains in more detail what her life was like, repeating the lines: “I wanted to be as men wanted me to be: an attempt at life; a game of hide-and-seek with myself. But I was made of nows;’

Her life was hidden from her own being. She overcame a life of deceitful futures by understanding her present. And when the messengers announced the parade of rules, paths and restrictions that she had to take, she twisted the desire to follow these men and left without expecting any recognition.

Understanding the text

Answer the following questions.

a.Why did the speaker try to be the way men wanted her to be?

The speaker tried to be the way men wanted her to be because she was afraid of being rejected or judged. She felt like she had to conform to the expectations of others in order to be accepted.

b. What do you understand by her feet ‘would not accept walking backwards’?

The speaker's feet "would not accept walking backwards" means that she was determined to move forward in her life. She was not going to let the expectations of others hold her back.

c. Who are the old guards? Why did they grow desperate?

The old guards are the people who represent the traditional values and expectations of society. They grew desperate because they saw the speaker breaking away from their expectations. They did not want her to change, and they were afraid of what would happen if she did.

d. How did the speaker have ‘a feeling of intimate liberation’?

The speaker had a feeling of intimate liberation when she realized that she was not bound by the expectations of others. She was free to be herself and to live her life on her own terms.

e. Why did the speaker’s desire to follow men warped in her?

The speaker's desire to follow men warped in her because she was trying to be someone she was not. She was trying to fit into a mold that was not meant for her, and this caused her a lot of pain and confusion.

Reference to the context

a. What does the speaker mean when she says she was playing a game of hide and seek with her being?

She means she was holding her wishes and desires within herself as she felt inferior due to external ideas of an ideology or a man. She emphasizes the importance of not practicing a game of hide and seek with her being, and determines to continue forward, despite the obstacles along the way.

b. Why, in your view, was her back ripped by the old guards as she was advancing forward?

The old guards are the traditional beliefs of a patriarchal society. These beliefs were imposed on her life. Her back was ripped by these beliefs as she was advancing because they are trying to hold the speaker back from being herself. They are trying to keep her from being free.

c. What, according to the speaker, did it feel like to be free?

The speaker says that it felt like "intimate liberation." This means that it felt like a deep and personal sense of freedom. It felt like she was finally being her true self and living her life on her own terms.

d.Why does the speaker prefer the present to the past?

The speaker prefers the present to the past because she feels like she is finally living her life on her own terms. She is not bound by the expectations of others, and she is free to be herself.